My wonderful husband went back to work last night (he works graveyard) after a week long vacation.
There were times that week felt like months.
It really was so nice to have him home every night. But this girl has her routine, and even though it isn’t a mass of scheduling, I always know that certain times of the day I will have to myself, to watch what I want, listen to what I want, do some cleaning without having it undone behind me, be creative – basically, just have some quiet time. I know that I will go to bed at a certain time, with only our 3 pound chi-pom for company in our king sized bed, and I can watch Gilmore Girls until I fall asleep. With him home, this didn’t exactly happen.
Today I am feeling good, relaxed, and relatively unmotivated. I finished a skein of yarn I have been working on for a couple of weeks. I got some cleaning out of the way that I had put off while he was home, and, since he came home, and went straight to bed, I have been indulging in reading the first book in one of my favorite Nora Roberts trilogies. I have been playing a bit on my 3DS (which is rare). I have been watching old episodes of One Tree Hill, and I have been sitting and letting my mind drift.
It has been amazing.
This is not all just from settling back into a routine after his week off. It’s been a culmination of a lot of reading, pondering, writing, dreaming that I have been doing the last few weeks. And I feel great. Actually, I’m finding that there are a lot of things that are sitting there, close within reach, but not quite reachable, inspirations and reazlizations, and breakthroughs right around the corner. It’s like a dream that I am catching the edges of, just as I wake up.
It goes against everything in my being to not think myself as lazy today, but I’m learning that these days are okay, are good, in fact. My house is clean, my kids and dogs are fed, nothing is needing my attention, so this is okay! Whew! That has been a long time coming! (am I the only one that struggles with that? Anyone??)
So today, I’m going to go back to doodling in my brain dump journal. I’m going to read another chapter, and watch another drama filled episode of a really girly teen drama. I’m going to drift and dream and wait for the inspiration/realization/breakthrough moment to find me.
And I’m gonna be okay with it.